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Reynolds Rap

Reynolds Rap

Harry Reynolds  /  September 29, 2011  /  Views: 119  /   No Comments

We have choices to make. It is Monday night; I should be working on my Spanish, but I am not. Monday Night Football rules.

Spanish appealed to me, unfortunately for Hispanics. Hard-working waiters run and hide when I enter one of the fine area Mexican restaurants.

There are 40 million Hispanics in the United States; of these, 1.3 million live in Illinois and pockets reside in the area. Across the southern border, 130 million Mexican citizens speak the language; as do most of the people in South America, with the notable exception of Brazil.

My brother tangled verbally with me recently over whether or not Spanish should be taught as a second language in our schools (the last time I beat up on him was roughly a half century ago). Things got so heated, I was afraid he would not let me have another bottle of Guinness Stout beer.

Why not require all students to learn Gaelic? he demanded. We agreed on Gaelic (being of Irish descent), but not French, German, Italian, Japanese, Chinese, or Pig Latin. The argument raged on, with my sister-in-law, Mary, a native of Ireland, foolishly weighing in on George's side.

Eventually, we settled down and turned our attention to the question of whether Alexander the Great was Macedonian or Greek. Alexander, of course, was Macedonian, but his father, Philip of Macedonia, conquered what was loosely Greece.

George and Mary stubbornly insisted Alexander was Greek, which I - being a cool and rational creature - drowned out with cries of "ALEXANDER WAS GREEK! GREEK, GREEK GREEK!"

Mary, fired-up, brought her computer out to the porch and showed a Wikipedia article proclaiming Alexander as Greek. What does Wikipedia know; most of its information comes from uneducated Neanderthals.

The trouble with teaching German and French in our schools, community colleges and universities is that both are spoken by so few people. The French language is dying due to the inability of that nation's vaunted lovers to reproduce in any numbers of consequence.

Lake Land College recently beefed up its Spanish class offerings and instructors. The instructor in my class speaks Spanish fluently. During class, he speaks Spanish. He believes that is the best way to learn the language.

In the interest of helping him preserve his self-respect, and the possibility of teaching anywhere else, he will remain anonymous. It may be a misconception on my part, but when he sees me, he turns white.

If he is a religious man, he probably prays something will happen to me - maybe, being run over by a truck, or freight train; trampled by a herd of cattle; shot by a jealous lover (or angry wife); struck by lightning while standing in a pool of water under a tree while holding a golf club; or killed by a New Jersey black bear (but, that is another story).

reynolds rap

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